Ten Years Bald 1999-2009

HEADS-UP The Bald Guys Newsletter

Volume 11, Issue 1 Spring 2009

Inside This Issue
1	Spring Peepers
2	Noggin News
3	Sickles & Such
4	The Beer Essentials
5	Bald Worthy

è 10 YEAR ANNIVERSARY T-SHIRTS ARE AVAILABLE ON THE MERCHANDISE PAGE ç

Spring Peepers will see us Ten Years Bald:

As Robert Plant so eloquently sang; “It’s been ten years and maybe more since I first laid eyes on you”…

And what a sight it was a log cabin full of bald guys. Thankfully it was in a remote log cabin deep in the woods of New Hampster.

Otherwise I’m sure the government would’ve nuked it for the sake of preserving the human gene pool.

Alas we were not found out and went forth and multiplied not unlike wild salmon swimming up stream for they too are hairless.

It still amazes me that our baldness has reached all corners of our planet and into the known universe and beyond.

So our ten year anniversary is an achievement that shall go down in history right next to man landing on the moon.

Like Neil Armstrong’s first step on that distant sphere people are transfixed and hold their collective breaths when we enter a room.

Never before has man or woman shone such light on the bald cranium in the way we, The Bald Guys Motorcycle Club have done.

Be proud my fellow baldies as you shall be infamous in the halls of motorcycle merriment.

We have obtained what no other club can possible achieve, to become as “one baldness” with the universe.

May the force be with you, may you live long and prosper, nanu nanu, Klaatu barada nikto, nyuk nyuk nyuk…

I salute your bald worthiness and toast your chrome dome. May you all shine on.

Here’s to the next ten

Smeg the Prez

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NOGGIN NEWS:

Dublin riders tour group says “Hello” and happy Ten Years.

Heh Donnie, put some clothes on before you get on that thing…That’s better

Side-hacks rule so says Rich and Ellen from somewhere “over there”.

They enjoyed a great fall get away with some other “hacks” and proceeded to tear up the country side, though rather slowly.

A good time was had by all with about 40 hackers camping and carrying on all with no computers in sight.

And yet another reason to be bald:

New Jersey is smoothing out differences over a plan to ban bare-it-all bikini waxing. The state is reversing course on the proposal after angry salon owners complained about losing business ahead of swimsuit season. The state Cosmetology and Hairstyling Board proposed banning so-called "Brazilian" bikini waxing after two women were hospitalized for infections following the procedure. But on Friday, Consumer Affairs Director David Szuchman effectively killed the plan. In a letter to the board, Szuchman says he won't support the ban. He noted the procedure can be performed safely and recommended that the board consider a review of waxing procedure training.

Don’t they know bald is beautiful:

A town is going green to combat foreclosure blight: A contractor has been hired to spray-paint lawn bald spots.

Perris spokesman Joe Vargo said contractor Dave Milligan uses an environmentally friendly dye that lasts up to six months,

and is harmless to people and pets. The city hopes the foreclosed properties are purchased and occupied before the lawn needs a touchup.

It costs about $550 to spray-paint a lawn. The city, some 70 miles southeast of Los Angeles, has set aside $2 million in an effort to stabilize foreclosure-fraught neighborhoods.

This just up the road a piece from me:

Police said a wild turkey is to blame for knocking a 23-year-old man off his motorcycle and breaking his collarbone.

Maine State Trooper Corey Huckins said Jeffrey Russell of Hartford was riding with a friend on Route 117 in Buckfield on Sunday afternoon when a wild turkey flew straight into his chest, knocking him backward off his motorcycle. Huckins said the impact was like "hitting a bowling ball at 45 mph.

"Police said Russell was knocked unconscious and flown in a medical helicopter to Central Maine Medical Center in Lewiston.

Russell's riding companion was not injured, but the turkey was killed in the accident.

MUSCLEMEN who pump iron are more likely to go bald, scientists warn.

They have discovered bodybuilders’ testosterone soars after a weights session – and that turns into a toxic substance which attacks hair follicles.

The research reveals fellas who lift weights just three times a week for 45 minutes over two years are heading for a premature slaphead.

Boffins found testosterone levels soared an average 25 per cent after one of the sessions. They returned to normal after 30 minutes when the body converted the male hormone into a chemical called DHT.

But DHT, or dihydrotestosterone, shrinks follicles and roots – so hair grows back thinner each time.

Must happen when you pump aluminum too…especially the 12 and 16oz weights…

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SICKLES & SUCH

The Kuala Lumpur City Hall has allocated part of its budget to build 3,300 motorcycle parking bays installed with wheel locks by the end of this year. The Malaysian city has just launched a Motorcycle Wheel Lock campaign aimed at the estimated 1,102,823 riders who use the city roads. According to a report by the Kuala Lumpur Criminal Investigation Department (CID), there were 7,190 cases of stolen or missing motorcycles in 2006, 7,604 in 2007 and 3,184 till May this year in Kuala Lumpur.

According to officials, at present, 961 wheel locks have been or are being fixed at seven locations in the city. Its estimated that motorcycles make up 30% of the traffic in the city of Kuala Lumpur.

Some new scoots for 2009 –

Do your part to stimulate the economy and even yourself and pick up a new scoot.

Buys are great and loans are at low % rates

Suzuki Gladius Moto Guzzi V7 Café

Aprilia Shiver HD Cross Bones

Kawasaki Versey Suzuki M109R

Ural Sahara Hyosung GV650 SE

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Beer Essentials

Central Maine Beer Festival 4/18/09

I shall be attending with a few other baldies

For tickets go to their website è https://www.centralmainebrews.com/

Skull Spliter Ale back will stay on the Shelf:

Sinclair Breweries Ltd has today (Tuesday 23 December) welcomed the decision by drinks industry watchdog, the Portman Group,

not to uphold a complaint against its Skull Splitter ale. The future of the award winning ale - produced by the Sinclair owned Orkney Brewery –

was in doubt after a report claimed its Viking branded bottles had an "aggressive" theme. The report, by management consultancy PIPC,

was commissioned by the Portman Group to investigate compliance with an industry code of practice on the naming, packaging and promotion of alcohol.
Skull Splitter, an 8.5 per cent ale created over 20 years ago and sold internationally, had been highlighted in the PIPC report because its name "implied violence" and the potential impact of the strength on the drinker. Fearing one of its longest established and most popular ales could be withdrawn from sale in the UK, Sinclair Breweries Ltd launched a campaign to save Skull Splitter, a former Champion Winter Ale of Britain. Already commended for leading the way with efforts to increase awareness of sensible drinking, the brewery stressed to the Portman Group that the ale was in fact named after Thorfinn Hausakluif, the Seventh Viking Earl of Orkney - nicknamed "Skull Splitter".
The brewery's campaign received support from around the world and had the backing of several politicians. Responding to the Portman Group's decision not to uphold the complaint against Skull Splitter, Norman Sinclair, managing director of Sinclair Breweries Ltd, said: "I'm absolutely delighted by this announcement and very relieved that Skull Splitter can continue to be enjoyed here in the UK.

New York, NY (January 2009) - Shmaltz Brewing Company, ringleaders for well over a decade of HE'BREW - The Chosen Beer™, continues the national release of its new line of sideshow-inspired Coney Island Craft Lagers™ with their latest seasonal attraction, Coney Island Human Blockhead™ (Tough-As-Nails Strong Lager). Proceeds help Coney Island USA, a 501(c)(3) Arts Non-Profit fulfill its mission to defend the honor of lost forms of American popular culture in Brooklyn's historic Coney Island neighborhood. Shmaltz Brewing celebrates the national release of its new line as they host and participate in National and NYC-based events throughout 2009.

Sent in by brother Mech èThe hamburger fatty melt a definite Baldies meal. A hamburger with two grilled cheese sandwiches as the bun.

Shiver Me Timbers:

Hood River, Or - Full Sail Brewing Company is proud to release a new beer in their Brewmaster Reserve line-up for 2009, Keelhauler Scottish Ale. Keelhauler is a full bodied rich ale with slight notes of caramel and cocoa and a strong malty flavor. The hop character is spicy and earthy with a nice finishing hop flavor. "With this style we embark on a trip across the pond. Keelhauler, a nautical term, refers to a form of punishment one might get for treachery on the high seas, but there's no punishment here, we just thought it was a great name for a beer. Scottish Ale's are widely interpreted between sweet and roasty. We go for the balanced side, using imported Crystal and Amber malts with imported Challenger, American Willamette, and Sterling Hops to bring this Scottish Ale to life," said Full Sail Brewmaster, John Harris. ABV: 6.8% IBU: 48

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Bald Worthy

Mel Brown Bluesman 10/07/39 – 03/20/09 Marvin “Popcorn” Sutton moonshiner

Clarence Swensen Oz Munchkin Kelly Groucutt bass player (ELO) Robert Stanley (Bob) Kilby (track racer)

RIDE SAFE, RIDE FREE, RIDE BALD….DRINK BEER (AFTER YOU’RE DONE RIDING)